Conversation Between Friends
by Sub-Zero MKA
Summary: After the events of "A Magical Place" and "Seeds", Ward and Coulson have a talk. One-shot.


_**Conversation Between Friends**_

Agent Coulson sat in his office, alone and in complete silence. Scattered across his desk for the umpteenth time in a week were the photos and reports of his surgery. His resurrection. May had told him the other day that spending so much time dwelling on it wasn't healthy. She was right, of course, but he couldn't help himself. He couldn't stop dwelling on it. Not the what or how, but the why.

He knew what they did, and could easily remember the how. Oh, how he remembered the how. But the why was what kept him up at night. Fury undoubtedly spent hundreds of thousands of dollars, SHIELD resources, and devoted the best doctors on their payroll to bringing him back. He confronted God when God said it was his time, and didn't blink. He snatched him up from the Pearly Gates and brought him back to the land of the living (Part of him actually resented him for that).

Why?

Simmons told him that Agent Hand questioned the amount of effort from both his team and SHIELD as a whole to bring him back. She was right to question it. Only Fury himself warranted that sort of search effort, not some mild-mannered Level Eight field agent.

Coulson frowned heavily and picked up on of the photos. He needed to know why Fury saw fit to go through heaven and hell to bring him back. He needed answers, but sitting alone in his office staring solemnly at pictures all day wasn't going to give them to him.

He briefly considered calling Fury himself, but he feared receiving the run around again. It was hard enough getting a straight answer out of the man about matters not mundane; and in a matter of this much importance, he'd have been lucky to receive a vague yes or no.

The printed photo slipped through his loosening grasp as he leaned back in his chair and gazed at the ceiling. Sometimes, like this time, he wished he had someone to talk to. Someone not Melinda, but who could understand. Clint or Natasha would, Captain Ameri-, erm Captain Rogers would even more. If it wasn't for that stupid order not to inform the Avengers of his being aliveness, he'd have called them up on the phone right now. Hell, he'd have flown them in and had a face to face chat.

But, it wasn't to be. Fury had made sure to keep him segregated from the Avengers. That wasn't going to go over too well, once they found out. Banner called them a ticking time bomb. He was half looking forward to hearing about how that time bomb exploded in Fury's face. But, he himself was stuck on the Bus, with only May coming close to knowing what he was going through. And even she didn't even know a third of it, let alone being in any position to give him any advice.

He sighed again and leaned forward to clear his desk of the photos and reports and replace them within their folder. He placed the folder within a drawer in his desk and locked it. At that moment, someone knocked in the door. "Come in."

Grant Ward walked inside silently. Internally, Coulson sighed in relief. He feared that it was May. Somehow, she would have known what he had just been doing and probably would have chastised him. Grant, he had no idea what had happened. Something about that didn't sit well with him. Secrets being kept from the team, that wasn't good. He needed to tell them at some point soon. Maybe one at a time, when he felt they were ready.

Ward was the oldest of the 'children', so he'd tell him first. But not today. There was the matter of another secret that needed to be hashed out first. "Glad you dropped by, Ward. It's come to my attention that you've been keeping something from me."

He watched Ward's face drop. "It was agreed that we would keep it a secret," he murmured in explanation.

"It's usually that way. But keeping secrets from the team isn't good, even if it's none of our business." There wasn't any malice in his voice, or even disappointment. This was just a senior agent advising one of his subordinates. Giving him a life lesson, if you would. "How long has this been going on?"

Grant hesitated for a moment before acquiesing. "Since the Berzerker Staff incident." He still sounded ashamed of his behavior from back then.

That was more than a month ago, to his recollection. "I see. And is it _just_ sex or…"

"Sex," he answered promptly. He looked as if he wanted to say more, but wisely withheld. Good. There were few things worse than engaging in guy talk where the woman in question was one of his close friends.

"I see." He eyed the man across from him for a few silent moments, searching for any signs that he was holding more back from him. He couldn't any evidence of that.

"Sir, if you want us to stop, we can and will immediately."

Ever the dutiful agent. "No, that won't be necessary." He smiled. "I trust you both. To keep it separate from your day jobs and to act professionally around each other while on the clock. And I trust you two to end it, and leave it alone, _if_ it gets out of hand. Judging by whom I'm speaking of, I don't think it will come to that."

Grant's face was subtly the picture of relief.

Coulson's smile shrunk into a sly smirk. "You like her," he teased in a conspiratorial manner.

Ward didn't answer but immediately shot out of his seat. A deep red blush was growing across his cheeks. "Well, sir, if that's all you wanted, I'll be on my way."

He chuckled. Sometimes, it was too easy to read people. "Wait, wasn't there something you wanted? You're here now, and I didn't send for you."

"Hm? Oh, right." Somehow, Coulson knew that he was going to regret that. "I just wanted to talk to you about something I've noticed about you lately." Yep, he instantly regretted saying something.

"Well, what did you have in mind?" Coulson tried to keep the apprehension out of his voice.

"You've been acting… strange lately. You're spending a lot more time in your office. You seem distant and lost in your own thoughts. In short, ever since we saved you from Centipede, you've been -"

"Off," he finished for him. He was afraid that the team had noticed his change since he learned what had happened to him. He was hoping to keep it from them so they wouldn't worry about him. He underestimated them. "I… see." He was silent for a very long time. Too long for Ward to not become worried.

"Sir, if you want to talk about it, we can. Or you don't have to. It's up to you. But just know that I'm… we're always here for you. You helped us and are helping us through tough times and when things from our pasts crept up on us. It's only fair and right that we do the same for you."

It was times like this that Phil was thankful that he brought Ward aboard. He was a loyal agent, but he was also a friend, kind of. He may have had a hard time, more so than others, showing his emotions, but he still had a heart, deep, deep down inside. "Thank you, Grant. I appreciate this, really. I will, eventually, talk to you all about it, everything. But for now, I just need to sort it out for myself. I hope you understand."

"I do, Phil. I won't pretend that I know what happened when you… came back to life, but I can do what I can to help you cope with it." With that, he stood and held his hand out. Phil took it and shook it firmly. With a nod, Grant walked out.

Coulson watched him leave and didn't close his eyes until the door closed softly. Images of his operation, of his pleads for death rung in his head, as clearly as they were of they had happened yesterday. He ripped his eyes open and sighed. That talk with Fury was quickly becoming a necessary evil. His team deserved to know what had happened. He deserved to know why.

**-END-**

_**A/N:**__ For those of you wondering, I'm planning on writing a MayWard story in the near future, so look forward for that._


End file.
